Bizarre Services

Ashes to Portraits: transforms the ashes from your loved one in a portrait

Using some of your loved one's ashes combined with a very special mixture involving oil paint, the company has a professional artist create a one-of-a-kind portrait that will not only be a beautiful remembrance that will live on for many generations, but it will also help with your feelings of loss. You can also have a portrait of your beloved pet using its cremated ashes.

Crime Scene Cleaners Inc.

The police, the fire department and the crime-scene investigators who arrive at a crime scene perform crucial tasks in the aftermath of a violent death. But they don't, as a general rule, clean up. Mopping up after someone who dies violently is the responsibility of that person's family. Now there is a company, called Crime Scene Cleaner Inc., that can handle the dirty job, literally. It's a cleaning maintenance service specializing in the cleanup of homicide, suicide and accidental deaths. The company offers services of cleaning, disinfecting and removal of all contaminated items to restore the scene to a safe, non-biohazardous state. But it's not what you are thinking, if you committed a crime you should call the police first, Cleaners Inc. won't come and clean up your mess.

Last Meals Delivery Service: delivers a surprise meal chosen by a death row prisoner

Last Meals Delivery Service in Toronto will bring you a last meal (only for Toronto residents). Not your last meal, but the meal someone on Death Row chose as his last. They all cost $20 and must be ordered a couple of days ahead of delivery. You don't get to pick it out, but when it's delivered it comes with a DVD to watch and a paper mask of the convict who selected it.

Lastmessagesclub.co.uk: stores good-bye messages to be sent after the client's death

The problem with dying unexpectedly is that you never get a chance to say goodbye. No longer. A new web site called Lastmessagesclub.co.uk allows users to write and store adios e-mail messages to friends and family. Upon one's demise, the messages are made available to recipients.

The Last Messages Club is an email service that allows personal notes written prior to one's death to be sent to loved ones in the future. Important documents such as wills and insurance details can also be accessed through the service. Members can write up to 100 emails that can be released once they die at times of their election, such as when a relative or loved one marries or has a child.

Professional Bird Shit Removal: removes the shit from your car or house
Car just washed? Birds overhead? It may be time for Professional Bird Shit Removal! The bird population has exploded in recent years. With the advent of the Internet and World Wide Web, birds of all types have grown more savvy, their proficiency growing at an exponential rate. Do you want to take a chance in this new day and age? These skilled technicians are highly trained in the art of Professional Bird Shit Removal and will thoroughly dig out your home, vehicle, or loved one from the offending pile. Whether the culprit is one bird, or an entire flock of feral pigeons, Professional Bird Shit Removal has you completely covered from head to toe.

Line Standing Service: stands in line for you

Do you live in Washington DC and are tired of waiting long hours in line? Well, Linestanding.com provides persons to stand in line anywhere in the greater Washington DC area, and specializes in United States Congressional hearings and their respective committees. You can order online and get a stander to wait at a designation of your choosing until they are able to rendezvous with you, the attendee. The company creates a sign with a name of your choosing so that you can easily identify the stander in line. How cool is that?

Xtreme Taxidermy: freezes dry your pet to have a lasting memorial

When cremation or burial does not feel like the right decision for you and your pet, freeze dry preservation may be the right choice. Pets are a very special part of our family. Freeze dry preservation affords pet owners the opportunity to make a lasting memorial. This process keeps your pet intact. Your pet will retain its original size and shape in which it is posed indefinitely. We recommend a sleeping or a lying down position. Your pet will look very natural and even close up it will be difficult to tell any difference at all except for the lack of movement. With a little care, your pet can be held, carried, or even gently petted.

EggAlert: sends fertility SMS reminders

Now your cell phone can tell you the best day to have sex if you're trying to get pregnant. EggAlert is a text messaging service that will notify you when the optimum fertility day is approaching, so that you don't miss out on the perfect time for conception. The new service from PDA Health Ware, Inc., calculates a woman's next ovulation time, and sends a text message to her cell phone on her day of ovulation, fertility period, and when to expect her next menstrual period.

Ring4Freedom: gets you rid of unwanted people with a fake call

Ring4Freedom is a web-based service that rings your cell phone or landline phone anytime you want, allowing you to escape the throngs of unwanted conversationalists. Ever had someone walk up to your cubicle and start chattering away, wishing you could find a polite way to get rid of them? Ring4Freedom perhaps is your answer.

It's a piece of software that sits in your Windows system tray. Clicking on the icon (or pressing CTRL-D) will send a signal over the Internet to Ring4Freedom's server, which then places a call to your phone. This way, you can tell your unwanted guest that you're expecting an important call, and send them away. The cost? $4.95 per month.

Pink Taxi: for women only

The new fleet of 35 cabs in Mexico's colonial city of Puebla is driven exclusively by women and don't stop for men. The cabs cater especially to those tired of leering male drivers. "Some of the women who have been on board tell us how male taxi drivers cross the line and try to flirt with them and make inappropriate propositions," said taxi driver Aida Santos, who drives one of the compact, four-door taxis with a tracking device and an alarm button that notifies emergency services. In the Pink Taxi they feel more relaxed and they won't have that feeling of insecurity. The new taxis open up to Mexican women what has been an overwhelmingly male profession.