Steam It

According to a recent article in the Los Angeles Times, several spas in Southern California have added vaginal steam baths to their list of services. The V-Steam, as it’s called, is an ancient Korean remedy purported to reduce stress, fight infections, clear hemorrhoids, regulate menstrual cycles and aid infertility. Although there’s no hard medical evidence to support these claims, many women swear by steaming their beavers.

The V-Steam process is basically Harry Potter meets OB/GYN. The woman sits above a boiling pot of mugwort tea blended with wormwood and other herbs, and lets the steam waft all up into her business for about 30 minutes. Sounds harmless enough.

One V-Steam proponent interviewed by the L.A. Times says she’s a fan because it’s basically “a facial for her vagina,” which just may be the filthiest statement we’ve heard all month. She also describes it as “a simple, relaxing treatment” that “you can imagine people doing in the forest somewhere.” Well, sure, you could…. if you’re like, a total fucking hippie weirdo. On the other hand, one can say with total confidence that the image of a bunch of women hanging out in the woods, blowing steam up their boxes never would have entered our heads prior to her mention of it—and we spend quite a bit of time pondering bizarre, perverted things.

But ladies, if steaming your vagina makes you a healthier, happier person, then by all means, steam away.