Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Before & After Marriage

BEFORE - You take my breath away.
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating.
BEFORE - She says she loves the way I
take control of a situation.
AFTER - She called me a controlling,
manipulative egomaniac.
BEFORE - Don't stop.
AFTER - Don't start.
BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
AFTER - Maybe you should have just a
salad, Honey.
BEFORE - $60/doz.
AFTER - $1.50/stem
BEFORE - We agree on everything.
AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom
BEFORE - I love a woman with curves.
AFTER - I never said you were fat.
BEFORE - Time stood still.
AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere.
BEFORE - You look so seductive in black.
AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing.
BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each
AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with
someone like you.
BEFORE - Passion
AFTER - Good Night
BEFORE - Once upon a time
AFTER - The end

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